Sexual And Gender Based Violence: Heart Rending Stories of Victims Who Lost Their Lives, Leaving Behind Orphaned Children (1)

…How Police Inaction Allows Perpetrators To Go Scot Free
This feature story puts the spotlight on the plight of four women who lost their lives as a result of domestic violence right inside their matrimonial homes.

Apart from the failure of law enforcement institutions to effectively prosecute the perpetrators of the crimes against the women, the children left behind also suffer untold suffering due to the demise of their mothers.

The Explainer Gender and Human Rights Reporter, Utitofon Idara writes:
In a sleepy village of Ajedimokwu, in Dekina Local Government Area (LGA) of Kogi State, a pregnant Mrs. Ojochogwu Isiaka Gambo (nee James Ogwo) died. Having lost her first husband whom she had a child for, she must have been very happy when Mr. Isiaka Gambo came into her life.

Little did she know that she has just gotten herself into an abusive marriage that would eventually take her life. One of such incidences happened on September 10, 2022. Pregnant Ojochogwu had a misunderstanding with Isiaka and he, as usual, he did not only beat her up but kicked her in her protruded stomach leaving his wife writhing in pain, unable to call for help. Isiaka left his victim with her three children, all fast asleep and disappeared. But, after a while, a close relative was reached on phone who rushed Ojochogwu to the hospital.

In a telephone conversation with The Explainer, the relative that rushed her to the hospital, but did not want his name mentioned for fear of reprisals, recounted his efforts: “We first took her to a clinic but after three days, we were referred to another one called Jennifer Odu Medical Center, where she eventually died.

“We went to the husband’s house to tell him to come forward and sign for the corpse of his late wife to be deposited in the mortuary. This is because, in our culture, if a wife dies, it is the husband that must sign, but he was nowhere to be found.”

The family member said they had no choice but to carry out the necessary arrangement and bury her.

“The children are with us and till date we have not seen him. We lodged a complaint at Abocho Police Station in Dekina LGA of Kogi State. So, they went to arrest him and he was nowhere to be found and till date the police never went back and never gave us feedback either, but we heard he is back and we believe he came back because he sent food to the children at the late wife’s mother place.

He did not show up before and after the burial and up till today so, we instructed his late wife’s mother not to eat any food brought by him.”

The concerned family member expressed his frustrations at the turn of events and conveyed the wish of the deceased family.

“All we need now is justice, the man should be brought to book and his family must take care of the children, since he killed our sister, we have been the one taking care of the children. He is back and walking free in the village like nothing had happened. No arrest has been made so far.”

To get the other side of the story, The Explainer got in touch with (the alleged wife killer), Isiaka Gambo on October 17. When asked about his wife, he immediately lamented her loss and said that he just buried her. Probing further to know what actually happened to his wife and why he did not take her to the hospital, and all about her burial, the husband of the deceased retorted and gave his version of the story

“Witchcraft killed my wife because of a land tussle I am having with some people in the community, since they know i don’t have people, they decided to deal with me. I just woke up that day to meet my wife sick and lying on the floor outside our house and I knew that witchcraft had beaten her. I then ran to call my brother in another village to help me take my wife to the hospital. My children were still sleeping in the house when I left. By the time I returned, I was told that her family had come to carry her.”

When asked why he failed to locate the whereabouts of her wife immediately, he said, “I was upset because I did not like the hospital they took her to and decided not to go there. If they had taken her to Jennifer Hospital, she would not have died.”

Asked if he had ever beaten his wife, he claimed he had never raised his hand to strike her. His claim is however contrary to what most members of the wife’s family told The Explainer about countless beatings she endured in his hands. The Explainer gathered that the physical violence by Gambo on Ojochogwu was a regular occurrence; but the wife was always hiding this reality from her family mostly because she did not want to lose her marriage.

Gambo also gave his own account of his role in his wife’s burial as he claimed: ‘In my community it is a taboo to attend a wife’s burial but I added N20,000 to the N100,000 sent by my brother for the burial. I did not even know my wife was pregnant.” However, a family member who volunteered to speak on the situation said: “She (the deceased) even refused to open up on that day the incident happened but three of her neighbours who witnessed the violence confirmed how she was beaten up and got kicked in the stomach by her husband who left her for dead.”

More attempts to unravel the mystery surrounding the death of a pregnant mother of three children led to a visit to Gambo’s in-laws, where the issues of custom and the amount he claimed to have sent for the burial were laid bare. The family denied receiving any contribution from the alleged perpetrator for his victim’s burial. According to them, the financial burden for the burial of their daughter was borne through the contributions of their own family.

On the issue of the custom, which Gambo claimed prevented him from attending the burial, the relative said: “I was born and raised here, there is no such law or custom that exists in Igala land, all that he is saying are lies.”

Away from Kogi State, The Explainer also investigated a similar case of wife battery in Nasarawa State, which led to the death of Blessing Ugele (nee Orok). The incident, which happened on April 7, 2021, saw the 40–year old mother of three, losing her life from complications, following a violent physical attack from her husband.

Neighbours who recounted the tragedy made it clear that it was not the first time Blessing had come under violent attack from her husband. The Explainer learnt that she had been enduring her husband’s molestations for nine years.

On 16 October 2022, a year and 5 months after Blessing’s death. The Explainer, in company of sources paid a visit to Blessing’s parents’ home in New Nyanya, Nasarawa State. On getting to the location, Blessing’s children were the first to be sighted. The children looked sad, vulnerable and hungry; everything about their environment spoke to the abject condition they have been faced with since their mother’s death.

The old couple the children now live with reside in a dilapidated house. Stating our mission changed the atmosphere. The grandmother of Blessing’s children wore a forlorn look, stared into the space. She had apparently not gotten over the pain of losing her daughter. At this time, her emotions were palpable as she bowed her head for a while before speaking out.

She disclosed that she made several appeals to her late daughter to leave the difficult marriage to the point of even offering her a room in her dilapidated home. She said since it was the late that was working to provide school fees, accommodation and food for the family, it would have been possible for her to stand on her to begin a new life free of the constant beatings from her husband.

According to Blessing’s mother, “Emmanuel Ugele, Blessing’s husband first displayed the attitude when Blessing was seven months pregnant with their first child. He beat her to stupor in the presence of me and my husband in our own house. We begged her to leave the marriage, she refused and it never stopped until she died.”

As for steps taken by the family when the violence continued, she explained: “We reported to the Social Welfare in Karu LGA. When they called him there, he (Blessing’s husband) promised to stop beating her.

I insisted that my daughter should leave the marriage because I knew he was lying, but I was accused by the Welfare Officers of trying to break my daughter’s home because I insisted that a man that beats my daughter in my presence can never change.

“It is sad to say the welfare officers did not see it from my perspective. Sadly, my daughter stood by her husband and said he will change. We were shamed; my husband and I returned home in shame. The last straw was when the husband demanded for sex after two weeks of returning from a caesarian section for their third child, her (my daughter’s) refusal led to a severe beating, where her husband used wood planks from an uncompleted building beside their house on her. She bled for one month two weeks and two days before she died.”

When enquiry was made into what has become of the husband of the late Blessing. Blessing’s mother said: “He was released a few weeks after we buried Blessing, we decided not to press further as his family came to plead that he should be set free since his wife is no. They said with her death, he should be allowed to work in order to take care for his children. My encouragement is that the children, especially the first two are fully aware that it was their father that killed their mother.

He comes here once in a while with loaf bread for the children, sometimes he drops N1000. On one occasion, he came in the night and insisted that he wanted to take the children, I stood up to him and challenged him.”

The Explainer learnt that the deceased Blessing was a teacher at Bill Clinton Montessori School, located at New Nyanya, along Abuja-Keffi Road Nasarawa State. Until her death, her two children were pupils of the school; she died shortly after giving birth to the third child.

The only good news Blessing’s family have and they are full of praises for is that the school through the magnanimity of the Proprietress, Mrs. Maureen Iornumba, granted instant scholarships to the deceased’s two children.

The grandmother of the children was very elated as she discussed the lifeline the scholarships have afforded the children: “They (the school) have fulfilled their promise, in fact, they have been wonderful, they did far more than I expected, if the dead could see and hear, Blessing will be glad that they stood by her,” said the old woman.

The grandmother was also full of praises for the proprietress and all the staff of the school for their show of love and support for her grand children.
In terms of how the criminal justice system and the authorities have treated the cases above, The Explainer observed that no effective or sustained steps to ensure the victims get justice.

Edoamaowo Udeme a renowned activist who has dedicated her time to raising awareness on Sexual and Gender Based Violence (SGBV) lamented the shoddy and even complicit manner law enforcement agencies handle violent attacks on women and girls. Udeme who is the Executive Director and Founder of the Network Against Domestic Violence Foundation said: “It is unthinkable that even in some cases the police women act worse and say derogatory things to other women in their traumatic moments. Could you believe a police woman in the FCT Area Command Abuja, assigned to a rape case collected N10,000 from the poor girl, and another N3,000 for transportation to the crime scene even when the culprit had already confessed and was in their custody.

“Worse still, she told the girl to bring another N10,000 for her to file the case. Words got to me and I had to step in. Thanks to the then Area Commander Bala Ciroma who personally ordered that money should be returned in my presence”.

She continued: “There is another case of a woman who reported her husband to police with blood all over her as a result of severe beating. The police made one phone call to her husband (who was supposed to be invited and locked up) and she was not only blamed by a fellow woman, she was also told her that she is not prayerful enough and that was not a submissive wife hence her predicament. In the end, she was booed out of the station and she left in shame”.

According to the gender activist, the police would only listen to a complainant if her pocket is full of money. She said for the poor and vulnerable, they have been made to believe they have no business reporting any violence perpetrated against them.

“With the Police, we are in a helpless situation. It is heartbreaking,” SGBV activist anger at the lackadaisical manner the police handle cases of violence against women and girls was validated with way the cases of Ojochogwu and Blessing were handled.

The two husbands whose acts of violence allegedly led to the death of their wives are reported to be walking free as at the time of filing this report.

Reacting to the development, a neigbour to one of the affected families reasoned that the system had failed the victims and their family members, because they are poor and cannot afford to pay for anything. On their part, family members of Ojochogwu told The Explainer that they want justice done, just as they called on well-meaning Nigerians, Non-Governmental Organisations and the relevant agencies of the government to help them ensure their deceased’s daughter get justice.

_Note: The Explainer unequivocally condemns all forms of sexual and gender based violence and would work with other critical stakeholders to expose perpetrators and their accomplices, and ensure they are held accountable._